still

I Am The Silent Spectator
The wordless Audience
The Indifferent Timekeeper

Of That Which Passes By
That...Called, My Life

@ A Happy Sunday

Regret, redefined:
Sanity realised when the damage is done

Realisation, redefined:
When the ego takes a back seat and misplaced pride is accepted

Stupidity, redefined:
When you don’t know how to go back when you have realised the right path

Loss, redefined:
When you don’t want to go back when you have realised the right path

Giving, redefined:
When you can surrender without losing yourself

Gift, redefined:
When you can give it to someone because you like it so much for yourself

Joy, redefined:
When you feel a tangible lift of something within you even when your life is not as you would have wanted it to be

Maturity, redefined:
When you can separate the good and the bad; build upon the good, understand the bad and work to make it good

Impulse, redefined:
When you would not act upon something in the light of the day

A good idea redefined:
When it would seem good, be it night or day

Imagination, redefined:
When you see things because you want them to be

Obsession, redefined:
When you start believing that your misplaced imagination is the reality

Faith, redefined:
When you know that even if the present is tough, good things are bound to happen to you

Avarice, redefined:
When you don’t know when to stop

Liking redefined:
When you can accept the negatives, yet feel great fondness and the wish to stay on

Love, redefined:
When giving does not depend on getting

Beer, redefined:


:)

10 ways my rural partners avoid my calls/ request for reports

1- Report is done but, mera computer 'crush' ho gaya
2- Aapka phone lagta hi nahin
3- Wo suddenly meri wife ki bahen ka husband ka mausa ka death ho gaya
4- Computer operator ka pet dard kar raha tha
5- Bijli chaar din se nahin hai
6- I have just sent it
7- Arrey, you did not receive it? Ok let me make some more changes and send it again immediately.
8- Ho madam. Ho madam.
9- My Mailbox Status: Received email without the required attachment.
Better still….
10- My Mailbox Status: Received mail with attachment. But! But! unrecognisable fonts. (or attachment in binary digits).

And one more way (should change the title, actually). I like this the best--

11- Hallo? Hallo? Sunai nahin de raha…hallo? hallo?

I do not lose my temper quite that often, though.

hum Hindustani

Another of those endless workshops, where I tried making small talk.
Tried is the keyword here.
“You know, I hate English language”, said he. He the pompous.

I wonder if I should have asked him in Shashi Kapor style, with my hands folded and looking
sideways…... "Can u repeat in Hindi ?”

or perhaps I should have loudly broken into something like "Givin the dog a bone... Givin the dog a bone...."

Almost Original

Like a badly designed tacky bag saying ORIGINAL

Like a man wearing shoes that are branded FOOTLAND

I HATE IT

WHEN I LOSE WAT I PEN (KEY) DOWN BECAUSE I 'NAVIGATE AWAY' FROM THE PAGE. UURRRRGHGH

some comments I found cute

Jaded question from me to this cute ‘lil girl in a printed white frock and lace around the neckline
“where are you going?”

In a deep voice, she replied….”nuckh-lau”…. (for lucknow ofcors)



“I wonder if my 60 odd aunty Virginia, is a virgin?”…I wondered aloud to a friend…
Ask her….he said, "Virgin- ya?"



Message on the wall near Daryaganj police station in 2001.
It goes…

....Please Bill no stick.....



The menu displayed on a student-type eatery in Hudson Lines in 1998, read as..
.....Bredomlat.....



Man painted on wall in Ideal Lane, Dangratoli chowk in Ranchi in 1992

....Yahaan peshaab karna mana hai....

He finshed painting. In bold and in red. Unzipped his pants, peed and took off in his cycle.



Good looking guy in my compartment in tata bound train asked me what do I do? I work on the issue of anti-trafficking, I said.

Long pause

He: Ahem….traffick is a problem in Mumbai. Very crowded.

I took my book and climbed onto the topmost berth.


2 old men from my earlier organization loved to use similees. One would say, “bla bla bla (whatever the issue of the moment)….otherwise you will miss the bus…”

Another would love to say (for any issue)…. “you have to hit the iron when it is hot”.

A third uncle, who would say any shit for diplomacy, on one 10 o’clock Saturday meeting in the dome said…..

“As so and so rightly said, …..you have to hit the iron when it is hot……
Otherwise you will miss the bus.”



I am scared to call out the names of my NGO partners. Marathi names are very scary to pronounce for a regular hindi speaker like me.

I called a Mr. Badve as Bhadwe once (2005). We all were straight faced ofcourse.
I therefore, dare not call out for Bhosle.

(What kind of names are these?)



One of my field workers (2003) would stammer. His Bundelkhandi hinglish was classic (I say this not in a bitchy way). My colleague Bajpai was supposed to have met up with this guy the previous night for some work.

Says the guy, “ yaar Bbbjjpai, ttuum kkal aaake mujjhhhko touch nahin kiye”?


A friend of mine was scared that she was pregnant. So the boyfriend goes to this pharmacy and hesitantly asks for Parakh (supposedly some home pregnancy test).
shopkeeper: Hein-ji? Hein-ji? ... oho aise boliye na.

Boyfriend of friend comes out with Perk.



Some stupid dame in some school in some small town (I have been to many small town schools) once bragged...
"My (her's) pronounciation is very good".